We all dislike shopping for something…for me, it’s bathing suits, bras, and wedding appropriate dresses. But since I have two weddings in the next three weeks, I had to try and find the right—or alright—dress! Here’s the dialogue that ran through my head once I stepped into the department store’s dress department!
“God,I don’t want to buy or wear a dress…ohhh, look at these flowy-type pants, those could be considered fancy…I’ll text Marin and see if I can wear these… damn, she says I need to wear a dress!… does she not know flowy pants are back in?… I’ll text her again…she insists “a dress”!! Ok, fine I get it.
I hate this, I am going to cry, I am so not into wearing a fancy dress, I am just not into it anymore. Ugly, Ugly, not my style, bad color, too loud. Just pick a few to try. You might surprise yourself. Yeah, right! Ok, I’ll try these on. Should I try on the size I hope I am –Let’s keep it real. Don’t make yourself more depressed.
(Inside dressing room)
Pretty color, too fitted, damn this size doesn’t fit –what the hell?
This is a pretty Calvin Klein, could be cute on…. ugh, doesn’t zip!
I like this maxi dress even though stripes aren’t my thing, at least it zipped. Damn it’s tight, but it did zip, barely. Sh*t! I have to go another size up? I can’t be that big.
(Back in the dresses section)
Why haven’t I been trying to lose some weight for these weddings? I’ve literally been walking around and around this section for an hour. I must keep looking. Ugh! All these mother of the bride and older lady looking outfits. I am more than double the age of the bride, but I don’t want to look like one of her parents friends! Seriously, who looks good in polka dots? Can I wear plain black? All these jumpsuit things, kind of cute—could i get away with it? I think it requires thin and tall to pull off.
Fine, I’ll try the maxi striped number in a larger size. Hmmm, is it too big or is it supposed to poof out that way? Do I need some Spanx—it will make me sweat like a pig. Ugh, I hate this lighting, am I really this big? I think I need a strapless bra, crap I gave mine away, now i have to buy one another one?
That woman in the next stall is giving advice to her friend. She sounds like she is giving some honest advice. I need some of her advice. Ok, she likes the dress and doesn’t think I look fat. Done deal, I’m getting the dress, but in both sizes– see what i can accomplish in a week of good eating…starting tomorrow though, I need a burger after that drama.”
